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    On mandarin-orange chicken day

    Our son recently started using a communication device, his “talker”, to communicate with us. As many of you know, he’s medically complex with special needs and he is nonverbal. He’s getting quite good at telling us he’s “all done” or if he wants “more” of an activity. We were with family the other day and we were using his talker;  I was asking him if he wanted more books. Upon asking him this and presenting him his communication device a family member said “how does he know what more means?” I had to take a deep breath. I had to think of an appropriate response, to be honest, I was…

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    I think…

    I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit scared. A little bit nervous, okay, maybe a lot. To be honest, not thinking about it is easier than thinking about it. Isn’t that a strange way to talk about a pregnancy? Let me explain. I know I have a beautiful wonderful child inside of me who is already loved beyond measure. I can feel his flutters and kicks; an amazing gift of the life I’m growing. I can see my belly growing and I lose count of the daily trips to use the restroom. He’s happy and thriving. Inside. But outside, that’s where my thoughts always drift…

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    Nowhere else

    Our family went to a pool party a few weeks ago and on our way home I texted my girlfriend to let her know I wasn’t going to cry. I didn’t have the urge to take my son and leave. Oddly enough, I felt ok, not great, not sad, but just ok. Our son is nonverbal, continuous tube fed, has severe hearing loss and wears aids, with very low muscle tone and cannot sit alone, stand, or walk.  He’s also stubborn, funny, very affectionate, and extremely charming. He loves kisses, books, and his iPad. And when he gets excited or is content he can be very vocal while flailing his arms and…

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    “As long as it’s healthy.”

    *Disclaimer: I did not write this to get into any debates, so please refrain. This is my blog. My feelings. It’s okay if you feel otherwise. Please respect my feelings/opinions and I will return the favor. In my pregnancy, you will never hear me say “as long as it’s healthy.” Don’t get me wrong. We all want, wish, pray, and long for a perfectly healthy baby. But what if there wasn’t that guarantee? What if you knew there was a chance your child’s life could be a difficult one? What if you knew that chance was 33%? According to the genetic counselors we have spoken to, our child has a 33% chance…